hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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