And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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