Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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