You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
