you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize