the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize