so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
