Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
