I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize