I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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