you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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