We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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