I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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