Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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