He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Watching her eat just hurts me
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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