I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize