She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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