Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
