That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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