when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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