Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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