You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
