i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
