his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
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Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
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I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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