now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
