Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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