My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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