So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
