do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
