I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
