if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
