Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Boobs are out for the taking
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
