Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
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She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
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Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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