At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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