Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I will pee on everything he values.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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