Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
