First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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