It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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