I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Is her dick bigger than yours?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
