Nicole vs. Life
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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