weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
