I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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