I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
