it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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