honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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