ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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