Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
