My nipple is on Facebook.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
