im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
