I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
