I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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