You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
