I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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