she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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