Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
