and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
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I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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