I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
