I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize